Upcoming: 10,000 BC

I watched the trailer of 10,000 BC today, and here’s my two cents: anything that promises “a legend never told”, followed by “from the director of Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow”, about a man who “will challenge an empire”, but curiously speaks English with that rough, Eastern European or African (or whatever) accent, wears a reggae-singer hairdo, looks built like someone who’s been working out in a gym, supported by special appearances of mammoths and big cats of ridiculous sizes, involving a very slim, beautiful woman, and a set of pyramid-like megastructure behind…

seems epic indeed.

Juno

It’s always easier to pick on lousy movies rather than try to crop up a worthy review for a truly great movie. I’ve tried to write something about Juno, but it always came out as corny and less than what the movie’s worth. But I can’t stay quiet about Juno; all this silent gushing is pressing out of my mouth in jumbled vocabulary, so this time I thought better of borrowing Roger Ebert’s review and going from there.

Jason Reitman’s “Juno” is just about the best movie of the year.

It’s not the best movie of the year, it’s the best in years. I’ve never loved a movie so much since, I don’t know, Crash? But Crash had more like that overwhelming effect on me. I didn’t exactly love it, though.

It is very smart, very funny and very touching; it begins with the pacing of a screwball comedy and ends as a portrait of characters we have come to love.

I think of smart as in Juno doesn’t follow the common teenage-girl-got-knocked-up plot, doesn’t try to preach a moral message, and it is solidly built from the first minute to the very end. I’d say Ellen Page is freaking funny, but everyone in Juno seems to be contributing to that smiling effect as a whole. And also as a whole, from the parents to teenage friendship and love, to heartfelt expectant mother, the movie oozes a touching portrait of relationships.

Strange, how during Juno’s hip dialogue and cocky bravado, we begin to understand the young woman inside, and we want to hug her.

I initially imagined Juno as someone who would either be a best friend or an enemy for someone like me. But as the movie progresses, I realize that she’s the kind of cool girl, one who doesn’t give a shit what you think of her if you don’t like her, but she can totally hangs with people who clicks with her. She won’t spare a moment for pretense; what you see is what you get. That’s why I’d really love to hang out with someone like her.

Has there been a better performance this year than Ellen Page’s creation of Juno?

Er, Cate Blanchett’s Queen Elizabeth?

I don’t think so. If most actors agree that comedy is harder than drama, then harder still is comedy depending on a quick mind, utter self-confidence, and an ability to stop just short of going too far. Page’s presence and timing are extraordinary. I have seen her in only two films, she is only 20, and I think she will be one of the great actors of her time.

Ah, okay, I buy that comedy harder than drama theory because Ebert knows his thing. Still, the last statement is kinda too much, if you know what I mean. First off, I’ve only seen her in X-Men before. In Juno case, I don’t think much of Ellen Page as an actress, I just think of her as Juno the character. And whenever I think of the latter, I imagine how natural the character must have come out of the person who played it. And Ellen Page is truly Juno for me. Ellen Page = Juno. If someone tries to put, say, Lindsay Lohan in that role, though she was able to pull the act very convincingly, even worthy of recognition, then I’d think twice of Juno as an acted role. Page herself said that acting was being able to lose herself completely to someone else. If she’s really that good outside this Juno character, then I’ll agree with Ebert.

The film’s surprises, in any event, involve not merely the plot but insights into the characters, including feelings that coil along just beneath the surface so that they seem inevitable when they’re revealed.

You know, there are lot of intelligent movies out there that involve insights into the characters, but Juno does it in its own way. I’ve said it: Juno is very naturally acted. I as a viewer see her as believable as I see the next random pregnant girl walking by the street outside. But the character is something else. Honest and unpretentious and “cool”, Juno mostly speaks out her mind in words. An example of this is when Juno and Mark dance awkwardly to a song, she starts to lean in to his shoulder, when he suddenly says he’s leaving Vanessa. There, she pulls back immediately and begins to measure the damage that’s going to happen from Mark’s statement. She’s flustered, upset, denying him, demanding they must stay together for the baby, and storms out. The feelings are so natural, and so are the repercussions.

The film has no wrong scenes and no extra scenes, and flows like running water.

Yeah, and after two viewings I can totally watch it again.

There are two repeating motifs: the enchanting songs, so simple and true, by Kimya Dawson.

I’ll admit I didn’t like the songs before I watched the movie. Now the acoustic lo-fi music just sounds so sweet, especially the number Juno and Bleeker sing together at the end, Nobody Else But You.

And the seasonal appearances of Paulie’s high school cross-country team, running past us with dogged consistency, Paulie often bringing up the rear, until his last run ends with Paulie, sweaty in running shorts, racing to Juno’s room after her delivery.

The running team placement is quite funny. I don’t know exactly what purpose they serve, but their presence, as all other scenes in the movie are, blends well with everything.

My favorite scene in the movie is the one when Juno sits in the chair she and Bleeker made out in, outside his house, with a smoke pipe slipped between her lips, and she casually delivers the pregnant news to him. I’m not sure why, but that scene is really, really great.

5.5/5 or 104%/100%.

Ah Long Pte. Ltd.

Funniest thing I’ve seen in a long long time. And I mean funny as in laugh out loud funny. Then again, I’m not a Singaporean, so Singlish + Hokkien jokes are not really my everything thing. It makes it hilarious if you have a fair command of Hokkien/Cantonese/Mandarin and Singlish.

The story: a female triad leader (Fann Wong) of a money-lending business (loan sharks=ah longs) plans to “restructure” the violent nature of the business to a friendlier image. Under constant nagging of her Hokkien-eloquent mother to get married, she chooses a sissy dance instructor (Mark Lee), who have met her many times before by chance, to wed. Thanks to his, er, colorful personality, the wife forces him to come up with ideas to change their methods of doing business, which turn out in many ways truly hilarious. Meanwhile, problems loom on the household front, as the mother finds another reason to nag about grandchildren while the sissy husband hasn’t been able to get his hands on the wife, and rivalry occurs against another ah long gang, which is fueled by betrayal from a former gang leader.

It is said that Ah Long Pte. Ltd. copies the idea of a female gangster boss married to a gentle harmless guy from the 2001 Korean flick My Wife Is A Gangster. I’ve watched the latter, and I can say that though the basic idea remains the same and some scenes from Ah Long are blatantly ripped off from Gangster, the former is a hell lot more hilarious. Yeah, comedy does exist in the darker Gangster, but it pales in comparison with Ah Long by the level of sissiness and its ensuing actions.

Beowulf

Story-wise, nothing novel. Animation-wise, pretty impressive. It’s sure been a long way from Polar Express, and if Zemeckis keeps making and directing movies this way, maybe someday we won’t need any Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt anymore, but some of those manga or comic characters might do enough. Perhaps.

I found the physical characterization of the male characters more humanlike that the female, notably on the old Wealthow and Hrothgar. I think it’s got something to do with the accentuated aging lines (and they being lead characters)? I didn’t see the female ones so “real” though, maybe because there were little to tamper with the faces. Everytime I think back of the petite “bed woman” (whatever her name is), my mind forms the picture of Fiona from Shrek. Don’t know why. Even Jolie’s lips didn’t look so full as the real ones. (We girls like to pick on her lips.)

One thing I find a little eerie about this movie is the lack of score in some scenes. I know it’s CG and all, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to cue in some melodies, instead of total quietness. (Had some uncomfortable moments trying to chew snacks.)

As a side comment, I begin to see a new pattern of Hollywood movies showcasing machismo. Repetitive yells of self-pronounced statement that would do its effect once. Like, in this case, “I AM BEOWULF”. Not too long ago in March, there was a similar case of “THIS IS SPARTA”, remember? Is it really necessary anyway? I recall Arnold only said “I’ll be back” once and the quote still lasts until this day.

Props for the CG. 4/5.

Transformers

If there’s one movie you should not miss this year, it must be Transformers. At last, a summer movie that lives up to its hype, and delivers it exceptionally. CGI is finally utilized to the best. I didn’t think I’d ever say that, but honestly, what do you expect to see when you hear it’s a movie about vehicle-transforming robots waging a war on earth? 2-D animation ala The Simpsons?

The action is done so well I could forgo making snide comments about the busybody role of U.S. DoD (why always the imprint of “patriotic” involvement?). Even though the military is a crucial part of the story, still, hey, it’s Robots vs. Robots, and that’s what I came to see. The fighter jets may come and save the day, but I’m pretty sure Optimus Prime would triumph even without them. Jeez, even the names sound so dorky: Megatron! Starscream! Bonecrusher! Jazz(?) Bumblebee (????). I’m lovin’ it anyway. Megatron looks like a real mean badass, while Optimus Prime and his robotic voice sounds like… something from my youth.

I prepared to be repulsed by the teenage factor, i.e. Shia LeBeouf, yet actually was impressed that this guy could pull off the role without being annoying throughout. Even more impressed later to see Jon Voight, playing the Secretary of DoD, lurching defensively to fight off a robot called Frenzy with a shotgun… The humor was all right if not ridiculous, but I find it easy to overlook. Just like the whole damn thing if it wasn’t for the CGI.

4.5/5.